I’ve been given a date for my second hip replacement. They’re admitting me on the 14th with the procedure pencilled in for the 16th. To say I’m not nervous would be a lie. To say I’m not scared would be an understatement. But there’s the results to look to. I’ve got to look to that.
I’m scared of the pain. I’m nervous of the op itself. Last time there was issues with my pain relief post op and it left me in complete agony. They didn’t go with their plan of giving me a PCA post op, and left me on my normal pain meds. Bearing in mind the pain meds weren’t controlling my pain pre-op, how they expected them to control it post op was beyond my comprehension. I’m nervous they’re going to make me use a bed-pan again. I know they don’t routinely catherise people post op anymore, but the thought of having to go through the indignity of using a bedpan, and making a mess of it and having to have my bed changed under me doesn’t bear thinking about.
I had my pre op during my last admission for my chest. It was a complete waste of time. I was meant to be seeing the anaesthetist that would be there during my op, but he was on annual leave. They didn’t do any of the bloods or ECG’s because I’m being admitted beforehand so they’re going to do them then. The only useful thing to come from it was that they’ve asked the acute pain nurse to come and see me when I’m on my respiratory ward beforehand to try and put a plan in place for post op pain relief. I just hope that they do come and see me. That they read the notes the nurse put in about my concerns. Last time I was scared of what I didn’t know. This time I’m scared of what I do.
My mum’s coming over before my op for a few days, and is staying until the day after. She’s said she’s going to help me get my room in shape properly. At the minute it’s half done. But I’ve not got the energy to finish it myself at the minute. It’s stupid. I feel tired all the time, and have such little energy it’s pathetic. There’s people in such worse positions, and I know that. But the amount of opiates going through my body at the minute is insane. With my patch, long acting morphine, and oramorph, the combination is making me sleep stupid amounts. I went to sleep last night about half past 12, and slept until after 3 today. Sitting in a normal chair hurts, and I’m spending 90% of my time lying in bed.
I am determined to get back to some form of sport when my hip’s sorted. I’d love to be able to start swimming again, and maybe try running. I was never great at running any distance and found I didn’t have the stamina to maintain it. So I’ve got to work on my stamina and then start getting fitter. I’m looking forward to it.
I’ve got more than I know to look forward to. I will get to university. I will get my life in order. Asthma or no asthma.