Rough times.

It’s been a rough few months for me. After I posted last in January, things went downhill with my chest, and I ended up quite poorly for a while. I don’t know if I’m ready to post about it all, but that’s what my blog is meant to be about. Talking about things, getting them off my chest and letting it out. This is gonna be quite whiney, and a lot about my health. If you don’t like it, then bugger off down to the end paragraph or just go away. Not really bothered which.

I went in via ambulance after feeling rough for a few days. Don’t really know what was going on, but I did end up needing adrenaline, hydrocortisone and bagging in the ambulance. Unfortunately I ran into the nurse I have problems with on triage, and she decided despite being rather poorly and having obs that would scare most doctors, that I was fine to be put into a side room in majors. I was basically dumped in a side room and had the door closed on me. As a result of this, the large delay in getting my medications to me, and lack of anyone keeping an eye on me, I deteriorated to the point that I was rushed into resus by the chest doctor when she arrived and had ICU fast bleeped. It was very hairy for a period of time, and I still have major issues about it. I ended up on BiPAP for about a week and felt rubbish for several weeks after. As a result of the treatment I received from said nurse, I put a formal complaint in, but I will go into that another time. I’m not really sure who reads this, so I don’t want the wrong people knowing about it all.

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A few weeks in hospital later, and I was well enough to finally come home properly (they discharged me and I ended up back in that night, says it all really). I think my consultant has finally realised how fed up of all of this I am. He’s listened to the fact that my IV access has gone to shite and organised a PICC line for me. It did take a while for them to get round to putting it in due to the fact that people kept forgetting to tell Interventional Radiology that I have a sodding latex allergy, but it’s in now. The battle to try and keep it in however is only just beginning and trying to get someone to take responsibility for it in the community has been a nightmare. In the end I just gave up and begged the hospital to look after it.

I don’t think I took things seriously with my chest until quite recently. I’ve always just thought “Oh, I’ll go into hospital and they’ll sort me out and I’ll be fine.” I don’t think I ever thought about what would happen if it didn’t work, and that admission forced me to. I don’t like not being able to feel safe in A&E. For the most part, my local A&E is fantastic and most of the nurses are brilliant. But it’s the one nurse that can make life very difficult for me.  It’s inevitable that I will have to go back through A&E, it’s the nature of my condition. But it’s much more difficult when you have to battle the system to get the treatment you need.  I’ll probably run into her again, but hopefully next time she will be nice to me and treat me right. Or just leave me alone. One can only hope. I have been through A&E since I put the complaint in, but I don’t think she was aware of it and she wasn’t there anyway so I didn’t have to deal with that. Urgh. I hate asthma so much right now. I’m scared that I’m going to have an attack and that’s going to be it. I’m scared that something’s going to happen that means I can’t be me anymore. I’ve finally started to get my life on track and I’m scared that asthma is going to screw that up.

I’m hopefully (fingers crossed) starting university in September, and that’s a big deal for me. I left school in 2011, and since then have been deemed too unwell to do it. I’m kind of hoping that now is the right time to try it. I’ve had both my hips done, my chest is (hopefully) learning to behave itself and I’m in a much better place mentally than I have been in a long time. I’m currently trying to sort student finance out for September, and that’s my current massive headache. But hopefully I’ll be sending that application off in the next few weeks. But hopefully sooner because…. MY LITTLE BROTHER IS COMING OVER AGAIN! Yaaaay! I last had him over in Nov 2013 for his 12th birthday, and I’ve been saying I’d have him over again since then but between naughty lungs, Cookie not being well and him starting secondary school, I’ve not had a chance to. But I’m really looking forward to it cause I’m a lot more mobile than I was last time so will hopefully be able to do more with him. I’m planning a few things like the science museum in town, and the 3D IMAX cinema at the Trafford Centre. Definitely looking forward to it though!

Things are definitely on the up for me though, and I’m really hoping it continues. It’s been a tough start to 2015, but it can only get better and I’m really hoping it does.

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