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Arch Nemisis – Day 6. Fence Panels.

Now this sounds stupid, and it probably is, But I f**king hate fence panels. Last summer t’other half asked me to help him replace a couple of fence panels in his back garden for his mum. Ok says me, can’t be too difficult. 4 hours later, 3 broken fence panels and 3 splinters I decided I’d had enough of the fence panels and gave up. For those who have no idea what such a thing is, a fence panel is a large 1x1m piece of plywood or something of the sort that you use for fencing your garden. Chris’s garden subsides. Hence the fence panels subside. Along with the concrete pillars holding them together. When I was over seeing him at easter, the same thing happened. I said I was having nothing to do with them and sat and watched Dr Who, I didn’t think that unreasonable, considering the emotional and physical damage they’d put me through before. I’ve decided when I get a house, I’m putting proper wood panels up, that aren’t 1mx1m so that when one breaks, you don’t have to spent 3 hours taking it out and fixing it! Grrrrr.

Fence Panels...

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Arch Nemesis No. 4 – Medication

With me and my meds, it’s a love/hate relationship. I know that they keep me well, and I know that without them I’d spend most of my life in hospital, but the prednisolone really has ruined me. Because of the lovely steroids my bones, pancreas and hormones are shafted, and I’m not dependant on steroids as my adrenals have become lazy bastards. My knee is screwed because of them, I’ve been admitted to ICU in ?DKA because of them. It was deffo KA, just not sure about the diabetic bit, I’ve osteoporosis and I’m fatter now than the fat lady that sings at mass. Yet without them I’d be very screwed. I’m so conflicted!

Evil Red Smarties

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Arch Nemisis No 3. Missing headphone earbuds.

Day 3 – Missing earbuds

Earbudless headphones

That is the most annoying thing ever. I never leave the house without my iPhone. Ever. It’s my source of life. It’s my phone and music player, and I go made without it. So whenever I get into town or school or where-ever it may be and discover a bud is missing off my headphones, making me not be able to use that earphone, I get very annoyed. It bugs me. A lot. And this is exactly what happened today. I was sitting in the chemist waiting on my meds, lifted my headphones out of my bag, plugged them in to my phone, went to put them into my ear and discovered I was missing a bud. I wasn’t best impressed. I then knew I was doomed to listen to my mother moan on and on and on the whole way home about something stupid and had no headphones to ignore her with. Not good!

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Arch Nemesis Number 2. Cannula’s.

Now for those non medically minded among you, a cannula is the needle they like to stick in you when you go into hospital, either in your arm or the back of your hand. It comes in many different colours and sizes. Now the theory is that a cannula goes into the vein and is stuck down so that nurses and doctors and other strange people with letters after their name may inject things into your vein, or put things like fluids through it to hydrate you etc. That’s all fine and well until you meet someone who has had many many cannulas and no longer has veins to be seen. This generally results in cannula’s in less than perferable places, such as feet, ankles, backs of wrists and if you’re very unlucky, big fuck off cannulas called central lines that go into your neck.

Cannula’s are great when they’re in. You get drugs through them quickly, they work better and quicker and once they’re in, unless you catch it, doesn’t hurt. Until that is, it tissues. In other word the vein collapses and the stuff is going straight into the tissue surrounding. Now that hurts. Especially when it’s something nasty like Pottassium. Which to have through a vein is like someone injecting cyanide into you. It fucking hurts. In a lot of people who have shite veins, like myself, and many of my friends, you’d be lucky to get a cannula to last a day.

This my friends, is why cannula’s are on my list of Arch Nemesis’s for this week.

Ouchies cannula 😦 Back of the wrist = Work of the Devil

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Arch Nemisis No. 1. The Shower

This week, I’m going to be doing a series of the 7 things I hate the most in this world. Today, being Monday brings Day 1, and so the first in our series of ramblings.

The Shower.

Now, for most people, you get in the shower, switch on, wash hair, have a wash, get out, dry off and dress and then get on with your day. Now don’t get me wrong, I love nothing more than a shower after a shite day or when you’ve been doing something nutty like a Red Cross duty all day and are covered in mud, but for me it seems to take 3 times the length of normal people. Why? You may ask. Well, take into account a shafted left knee and doody asthma, and you have…… A Nightmare. Showers take so much energy it’s silly, and having just got out of the shower, I’m spending the same amount of time recovering as it would to have the damned thing. And the knee…. Well that’s just another story all together. I end up falling over in the shower because I have to try and balance on one leg to avoid putting a large amount of weight on the doody knee, and have on many occasion caused a large crash and for my mother to come running into the bathroom to see if I’m still alive. Cue me yelling loudly at her and telling her to “Get the f**k out! I’m in the shower!”

So dear readers, next time you stand moaning about having to have a shower when you can’t be arsed, try doing it on one leg while breathing through a straw.

Shower - Arch Nemisis