To the person who “wants the locker so they don’t have to carry books.”

Dear Friend,

Today you saw me using my locker in the lab buildings at university. The ones that we aren’t meant to have on long term loan and get emptied out after each session. You saw me putting the key back on my lanyard, putting my lab coat, folder and some other bits into it, shutting the door and walking out. I heard you mentioning to your friends how unfair it is that I get to have that locker and nobody else can. Well, let me explain to you a bit about why I have that locker.

I have a couple of health problems. Brittle Asthma, Adrenal Insufficiency, Diabetes, Supraventricular Tachycardia (in other words, my heart goes a bit stupid fast sometimes) and have had to have both hips replaced and am waiting on shoulder surgery. I also have a couple of life threatening reactions. So, needless to say, I have to carry a fair amount of extra medications around with me. I’m not actually in uni right now, cause I’m in hospital following a life threatening exacerbation of my asthma. Oh yea, please stop spraying your deodorant in the halls, it’s making my life difficult. Cheers. But this is about half of what is normally kept in my locker at uni. It’s what I like to call my “Get out of jail free” kit. It’s basically the stuff that if it really came down to it, would keep me alive. Sounds dramatic, but it’s kind of true. What you see is my epipen for when I react to the balloons that are currently all over the student union or have a massive asthma attack that goes from 0-100 in 5 seconds, my steroid injection kit (because we all need to look like Hulk, right? Or my body has decided to stop producing it’s own steroids and has chucked a fit at the idea of having to, so I have to carry artificial means around with me incase I get put under a lot of physical stress and need a boost quickly), some nebulisers to stop my airways from closing up when I have a reaction to your deodorant, some cereal bars for when my blood sugars go dangerously low and I start getting grumpy and confused, and then that little orange tin has a lot of tablets in it like more steroids, paracetamol (yes, even we need the paracetamol sometimes, it’s not just a fuck off pill),  anti-histamines, diazepam and some anti sickness. It really does start to add up. And that’s not including the device I have to carry around to use my nebules in, it’s about the size of a CD walkman by the way (if you remember those?) or my blood sugar testing kit.


So I have to carry a lot around in my rucksack. Don’t forget as well that I’m waiting on surgery on my shoulder, so carrying a heavy bag can add to the pain I get there. And in my hips which have both been replaced. Add into that normal uni stuff like books, notepads, pencil case, a drink and then whatever other crap I have in my bag (I found thai baht in there the other day), It gets heavy. It also means if I manage to forget something important, that I’m not stuck in uni without a rather important medication or piece of equipment. I like to keep spares there incase something like that happens. I think that’s fair, wouldn’t you say?  But I know that “It’s really unfair that there’s one rule for one person, and another for everyone else” and I would totally agree with you that they should provide us all with lockers. But there’s about, what, 3000 people at our university? You planning on putting those lockers in the….?  I would gladly give you my health problems if it meant I didn’t need to use a locker. I know you didn’t mean it in a nasty way, or at least I hope you didn’t. But can you see now why I don’t like having to carry a heavy lab coat, my folders and lab stuff around with me all day after a lab? And why I do need to have a locker?  It’s not just for my deodorant and make up, it’s kind of important.






Arch Nemisis – Day 6. Fence Panels.

Now this sounds stupid, and it probably is, But I f**king hate fence panels. Last summer t’other half asked me to help him replace a couple of fence panels in his back garden for his mum. Ok says me, can’t be too difficult. 4 hours later, 3 broken fence panels and 3 splinters I decided I’d had enough of the fence panels and gave up. For those who have no idea what such a thing is, a fence panel is a large 1x1m piece of plywood or something of the sort that you use for fencing your garden. Chris’s garden subsides. Hence the fence panels subside. Along with the concrete pillars holding them together. When I was over seeing him at easter, the same thing happened. I said I was having nothing to do with them and sat and watched Dr Who, I didn’t think that unreasonable, considering the emotional and physical damage they’d put me through before. I’ve decided when I get a house, I’m putting proper wood panels up, that aren’t 1mx1m so that when one breaks, you don’t have to spent 3 hours taking it out and fixing it! Grrrrr.

Fence Panels...


Arch Nemesis No. 4 – Medication

With me and my meds, it’s a love/hate relationship. I know that they keep me well, and I know that without them I’d spend most of my life in hospital, but the prednisolone really has ruined me. Because of the lovely steroids my bones, pancreas and hormones are shafted, and I’m not dependant on steroids as my adrenals have become lazy bastards. My knee is screwed because of them, I’ve been admitted to ICU in ?DKA because of them. It was deffo KA, just not sure about the diabetic bit, I’ve osteoporosis and I’m fatter now than the fat lady that sings at mass. Yet without them I’d be very screwed. I’m so conflicted!

Evil Red Smarties


Arch Nemisis No 3. Missing headphone earbuds.

Day 3 – Missing earbuds

Earbudless headphones

That is the most annoying thing ever. I never leave the house without my iPhone. Ever. It’s my source of life. It’s my phone and music player, and I go made without it. So whenever I get into town or school or where-ever it may be and discover a bud is missing off my headphones, making me not be able to use that earphone, I get very annoyed. It bugs me. A lot. And this is exactly what happened today. I was sitting in the chemist waiting on my meds, lifted my headphones out of my bag, plugged them in to my phone, went to put them into my ear and discovered I was missing a bud. I wasn’t best impressed. I then knew I was doomed to listen to my mother moan on and on and on the whole way home about something stupid and had no headphones to ignore her with. Not good!


Arch Nemesis Number 2. Cannula’s.

Now for those non medically minded among you, a cannula is the needle they like to stick in you when you go into hospital, either in your arm or the back of your hand. It comes in many different colours and sizes. Now the theory is that a cannula goes into the vein and is stuck down so that nurses and doctors and other strange people with letters after their name may inject things into your vein, or put things like fluids through it to hydrate you etc. That’s all fine and well until you meet someone who has had many many cannulas and no longer has veins to be seen. This generally results in cannula’s in less than perferable places, such as feet, ankles, backs of wrists and if you’re very unlucky, big fuck off cannulas called central lines that go into your neck.

Cannula’s are great when they’re in. You get drugs through them quickly, they work better and quicker and once they’re in, unless you catch it, doesn’t hurt. Until that is, it tissues. In other word the vein collapses and the stuff is going straight into the tissue surrounding. Now that hurts. Especially when it’s something nasty like Pottassium. Which to have through a vein is like someone injecting cyanide into you. It fucking hurts. In a lot of people who have shite veins, like myself, and many of my friends, you’d be lucky to get a cannula to last a day.

This my friends, is why cannula’s are on my list of Arch Nemesis’s for this week.

Ouchies cannula 😦 Back of the wrist = Work of the Devil


Arch Nemisis No. 1. The Shower

This week, I’m going to be doing a series of the 7 things I hate the most in this world. Today, being Monday brings Day 1, and so the first in our series of ramblings.

The Shower.

Now, for most people, you get in the shower, switch on, wash hair, have a wash, get out, dry off and dress and then get on with your day. Now don’t get me wrong, I love nothing more than a shower after a shite day or when you’ve been doing something nutty like a Red Cross duty all day and are covered in mud, but for me it seems to take 3 times the length of normal people. Why? You may ask. Well, take into account a shafted left knee and doody asthma, and you have…… A Nightmare. Showers take so much energy it’s silly, and having just got out of the shower, I’m spending the same amount of time recovering as it would to have the damned thing. And the knee…. Well that’s just another story all together. I end up falling over in the shower because I have to try and balance on one leg to avoid putting a large amount of weight on the doody knee, and have on many occasion caused a large crash and for my mother to come running into the bathroom to see if I’m still alive. Cue me yelling loudly at her and telling her to “Get the f**k out! I’m in the shower!”

So dear readers, next time you stand moaning about having to have a shower when you can’t be arsed, try doing it on one leg while breathing through a straw.

Shower - Arch Nemisis